You are viewing rpattz_trufax

31 May 2008 @ 11:09 pm
RPattz is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.

• The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep RPattz out. It failed miserably.

• Contrary to popular belief, RPattz, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.

• Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. RPattz has 72... and they're all dazzling

• If you ask RPattz what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

• RPAttz drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.

• When RPattz sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. RPattz has not had to pay taxes, ever.


• The quickest way to a man's heart is with RPattz' fist.


• There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures RPattz allows to live.

• RPattz once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

• What was going through the minds of all of RPattz' victims before they died? His shoe.

• RPattz is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

• Police label anyone attacking RPattz as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.

• RPattz doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
• RPattz once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"


• RPattz has two speeds: Walk and Kill.


• RPattz is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like RPattz.

• In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then RPattz turned that wine into beer.

• RPattz can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?"

• RPattz does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.


• When RPattz goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

RPattz once challenged Superman to an arm wrestle. The conditions of the bout stipulated the loser had to wear underpants on the outside of their uniform
 
 
 
29 May 2008 @ 08:19 pm
rpattz


 
 
 
27 May 2008 @ 02:53 am
where the hale is twilight tuesday? has mtv given up? IT'S TUESDAY NOW! whut the hale is going on over at mtv?? this week's better have rpattz. no more jacob... i can't handle anymore.  



Photobucket 
how i feel right now because no twilight tuesday yet. ) :
 
 
Current Mood: irritatedirritated
Current Music: no music- just rpattz
 
 
 
24 April 2008 @ 12:50 am
The Original Robert Pattinson Facts List:

created 4/9/08

Robert Pattinson has more friends than Tom.

Robert Pattinson can sparkle and dazzle simultaneously.



made by kristaynuh

Robert Pattinson can dazzle you with his eyes closed.

Robert Pattinson can make trees bend to him by *sparkling*.

Robert Pattinson bleeds glitter and cries topaz.

Robert Pattinson is the original Firecrotch.

FACT: Robert Pattinson can actually rip up floorboards just by sliding across them.
more.Collapse )
 
 
 
16 April 2008 @ 06:49 pm
With humble beginings on ONTD, rpattz_trufax brings you the best in Robert Pattinson, and Twilight related lulz. The rules over here are simple:
1. You do not talk about rpattz_trufax

1. Over at rpattz_trufax we welcome everyone, regardless of affiliations, provided they're ready for lulz.

2. rpattz_trufax does not welcome e-drama, or grudges from other communities, so respect other members and play nice.

3. All posts to the community should be friends-locked.

4. Posts should be related to Robert Pattinson, or Twilight with excessively large images behind a cut, and news updates with a source.

5. As much as we love nudes, we kindly request that they go under a cut with a NSFW warning.

6. Twilight/RPattz isn't srs bznz, so don't take anything too seriously. Have fun, and enjoy the lulz. If you have any problems, contact one of the mods listed in the user info.